stupid is stupid.

yes!
you can call me stupid from now on.
or even worst you can call foolish and dumb.


this feelings ain't love.i'm very sure of that.
but why i still bother your life?
i insist to know you falling for whom
i insist to know who is the lucky girl get your love.
as i do before.


yup.
i admit.
i'm with someone else now.
i dont want to hurt him like i did to you.
he wipe my tears
and brings smile on my face.


he taught me how to be strong,walk straight and head up.
he showed me not all boys the same.
he opened up my eyes that love can be in different ways.


i'm not compared to
but his love and you so differ.
i'm not telling that his the best,
but someday he will win my heart like you did.
and,i'm not telling your love was fake,
i knew,your love was there for me before.


dear,i'm so sorry for bother your life.
i just the kind that always hurting myself to know how much i can take.
if hurting myself will lead me to be strong,
then i should stay in past and be miserable.
but i won't.




and you,honey.
i found the way to move on.
but i still re-read the last chapter so much.
i seem stronger but inside i'm way more weak than you thought.
i cried sometimes.
but when i think of you,i smiled.
i should not cry isn't?
i cant promise to make you happy
but i will find the way to make you happy.

a month~

it has been a month.since last entry.now,i dont have enough time to spend time on anything i like.my life totally changed.from student i become a full time employees in a recovery company.


well,i still wrote for someone i know never read this.
you,
i tried to stop thinking about you. totally.
my life now goes well.
i got job.im happy.in fact now i put on weight.


you know,
without you now,
i can walk,stand,and do anything i llike.
WITH CONFIDENT.
i cant feel this kind of feeling when im with you.


but,
when i saw you,
my knees weak,my heart melt,my eyes started to cry.
shit these feelings.
it makes me so weak.


somehow,i still wish i can see you.
watch from far,how you have been.
are you fine or not.
wondering are you still miss me like me
hoping you still save a little love for me.


it sounds stupid.
all these things.
or maybe it hurts someone.
im sorry,like i said.i dont know what this feelings.
i hope you can understand.